chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet
And with each one we had to have the same conversations. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? Last updated July 2017. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. The same anticipation. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. . Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. I was then told yet again bad news. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. So we went home, me to rest in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, my partner to reassure us both. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. Could you tell? However, at the time neither of us could articulate that. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. I guess the morphine made it easier. Within it are a number of recommendations for the communication of findings from ultrasounds. It was horrible. I didn't think my instincts were worth much. We talked about the different sorts of pain relief I could have and I opted for a morphine drip, which I could control. (See 'Resources'). Check benefits and financial support you can get, Find out about the Energy Bills Support Scheme, NHS fetal anomaly screening programme (FASP), Screening tests for you and your baby (STFYAYB), nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3, more information and details of support groups. Life expectancy of 30 or 40. So obviously quite relaxed. Try to relax and take it easy. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. We left for home feeling completely numb. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. And thank God I did. Some stories I hear are amazing! This image shows a baby's face and hands at 20 weeks, and gives you an idea of what you'll be able to see at this scan. And, sometimes, I wish I had invited my whole family into the hospital room to see him. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. What happens at the second midwife appointment? He had to come to the decision by himself. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. I tried to keep positive. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. Desperately trying to hold onto the glimmer of hope we'd been given. But that was too easy. Maybe. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. I just want to be normal again. But they didn't. He looked fine. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. For once in my life, I had been organised. Tears started to roll down my face. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. And attribute some blame to them. Just doing it. hi ladies. She brought up a picture of the heart on the screen. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. So we went back the day after Boxing Day, the 27th, and the consultant greeted us, which made my alarm bells go, and she started scanning us and I think her lines were, 'What concerns me about this baby is that they've got a diaphragmatic hernia, which has meant that part of the stomach of the baby was in its chest cavity.'. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. It was just sort of deadpan faces, very serious looks, someone else coming to check. Later, I did see and hold our baby. The doctor didn't come. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. I remained positive, we researched lots of cases of mistaken dates, inconclusive scans, and compared them to our situation; scrutinising everything to try and believe it was all one big misunderstanding. However painful and traumatic the labour was, it was better than what would happen at the end of it. We just couldn't use the words. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. Abortion has never raised any moral dilemmas for me and I am an atheist, so there are no religious issues. And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? And so this one can't tell you anything, it's pictures, you're going, you're going to see your baby, you're going to get pictures. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Where we were living then at the time you only had a scan at 20 weeks. It is a noise that will stay with me for ever. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. Why me and not you, you bastard? I felt empty, scared, guilty and incredibly heartbroken. He told me that they may want to do blood tests, but that 'he didn't see the point'. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. I am a darker, harder version of myself. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. We're going to go and see them. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. And it was Christmas Eve and at the time I didn't think, the sonographer did spend a little bit of time scanning us and queried my dates several times and then explained that she couldn't quite see the baby's heart properly and would we come back in a couple of days? You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. Never being able to look after himself. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. The blood test confirmed it was twins. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. She advised I be referred to the EPU to be assessed. This was a ray of hope for us. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. And I wish that I'd been told at that point, that somebody had actually turned round to me and said, 'Look, I'm sorry, but I think there's something very wrong. BabyCenter. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. I broke down and started hitting my disgusting body that had done this. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. We would terminate the pregnancy. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. Nice people shouldn't hear about what we'd done. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? But other than that everything was fine. And that was Monday afternoon. We didn't name him. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. Having the scan does not hurt but the sonographer may need to apply slight pressure to get the best views of your baby. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. We needed closure, to allow us to grieve properly. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. Baby loss support The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. I couldn't really believe what they were saying. Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? He looked excited. After that I got, I, it was about in, in 19-, hang on a minute, 2001 I got pregnant again, slightly unexpectedly. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. I returned to be told they wanted to scan me again, another internal to see exactly what was happening. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. But I was struggling mentally with the anguish, grief and endless hospital visits.
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