when someone says they are proud of you
http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. Is it OK to respond to "I am proud of you" with "Me to", "So do I", and "I am too", and "I am proud of you too"? 14. Happy I did it, finally! Go To Homepage. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Totally the sort of thing that deserves a fist to the nose. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . Set realistic goals. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. "I wish I had met you. A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. 1. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. Renew your PET skills; complete the full course over flexible times; or one-off parenting sessions. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Youre like my sister from another mother. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. you see the work of your close friend and you tell him "I am proud of you". After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. Second, he must know you well. It's nothing bad or unusual. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. 5. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Best of BBC Future. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. Children whose parents constantly say "I'm proud of you" may grow to be adults who rely on other people's opinion of them for validation. Thank you for your kind words.. I was excited to see your reaction. 10. said Christopher Robin. Can "me too" be used here? Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. 13. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). 3. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. "We will always remember. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! But what does proud mean? She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. So, the next time someone says Im proud of you, remember to take the time to think about how you want to respond. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." 3. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. A very concise and articulate post. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. Thank you. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? They didn't have to do that. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. 11. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. You certainly will. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. 2. 1. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? 2. But who are you to affirm? It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. 2. I feel virtually murderous towards them. 4. 8. 25. Im proud of myself, too. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. by Carolyn Steber. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. Thanks, buddy! When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). Try The Behaviour Window. Like I wasnt doing enough before? I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. If Your Partner Ever Says These 20 Things, You Should Break Up. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! How might you feel as the worker? So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. Thank you all, too. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? They mean the exact opposite of what you think. I think you deserve the credit for this all. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. We had a really nice time. 7. February 18, 2023 There are people who interpret life as if it were all about a fight of egos. All Rights Reserved. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? Just think of The Sixth Sense, where the son tells his mother that his dead grandmother wanted her daughter to know that the answer to her unspoken question was Every day., His mother begins to cry, and he asks her, What did you ask grandma, and she replies through her tears, Are you proud of me?. 9. Well, in that case, you should be proud of yourself, too. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). 4. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. They seem to make him quite happy. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. Don't disguise it as concern, either. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. Date TBA. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. . I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. . It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. Larissa Dann, a veteran trainer of Parent Effectiveness Training in Australia, suggests that we stop saying "I am proud of you," and start saying, "I am proud for you." 1 It is a subtle shift from the accomplishment being about the parent to the accomplishment being about the child. I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? Dear! "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. Can't you do something different?" Be proud of who you are. It's a pretty good deal. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. 27. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). Refresher workshop for P.E.T. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. Here subject and object are the same person. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. Be proud that you are here. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. And John is left feeling confused and despondent. You could feel annoyed and put out. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? So, lets get started! Thank You. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. It can be something big or something small it doesnt matter, because the phrase is used to show their appreciation for your efforts and accomplishments. ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) The Next Giant Leap. It is an accomplishment that makes good memories in life. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. All rights reserved. 1. #8: They say you need to change. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. If you get a new job, get a participants medal for a 10K or do anything deemed worthwhile, friends, family and acquaintances will say they are so proud of you!!!. 2. 6. However, is this what happens? Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. Thank you so much! If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". but you do play a role in their success! Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. 1. . Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. 2. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. Thanks. 15. My husband just said it to me a couple of days ago (for a little achievement I just made in my physique) and it made me happy as well. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. 5. It does not take it away from them. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. 03:48. . Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. How come you didnt come to watch this match? Powered by WordPress. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! The rest were manual labourers. 2014, 2016, 2019. Better Responses 2023. Yeah, this means a lot to me. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! Towards Net Zero. Most of the time, to be proud of someone means you know where they've been and how far they've come pride is a word about growth. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. You would have to know the whole story. Look him in the eyes and smile. that he harrassed them or . Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. . Im so glad to hear that. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. He gets a "that's nice". "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. Its really a way of saying I am really the one who is special, Im the boss.and what it deserves is not thank you but rather, well kiss my ass you condescending bastard..get a lifethis proud of you nonsense is also related to people who have to say WELL GOOD FOR YOU when doing something mundane..like, someone catches me reading a book in publicoh, you are readingWELL, GOOD FOR YOU!! She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me.
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